i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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