That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize