Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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