I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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