i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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