I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
