We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch