She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos