If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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