oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
