after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
