Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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