i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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