I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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