Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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