just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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