I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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