I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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