I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
