Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize