hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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