But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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