Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize