I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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