i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
