I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
