my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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