Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
