Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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