That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
