Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
