and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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