it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
