Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
