I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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