In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You ate ashes out of my bong
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
