I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
