So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
