dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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