you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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