hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
