Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
