This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
