Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend

  (936): View more from Texas

  Get a boyfriend

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  (281): How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend (936): Get a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/1049
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You are the reason we need health care reform

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  (773): When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger (708): You are the reason we need health care reform http://tfl.nu/m8x5
  Replies (55) Good night (3038) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (5013) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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  (780): Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man. http://tfl.nu/3qrw
  Replies (8) Good night (5122) Bad night (1960)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love

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  (202): he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love http://tfl.nu/m0fg
  Replies (15) Good night (5518) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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  (847): Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night? http://tfl.nu/owky
  Replies (3) Good night (3811) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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  (501): I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II. http://tfl.nu/1v38
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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  (646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys
  Replies (5) Good night (3407) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  That was beautiful.

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  (775): True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate. (1-775): That was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/d63d
  Replies (4) Good night (1570) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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  (781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.

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  (403): I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here. http://tfl.nu/2ffm
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......

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  (586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet...... http://tfl.nu/yh71
  Replies (3) Good night (344) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

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  (859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980
  Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"

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  (860): We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?" http://tfl.nu/8tlk
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (262)

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