Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i always forget guys have bellybuttons

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  (717): i always forget guys have bellybuttons http://tfl.nu/yqdn
  Replies (84) Good night (3664) Bad night (834)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

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  (908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj
  Replies (51) Good night (25905) Bad night (1311)
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  (209): View more from California

  Responsibility does not care about your dick.

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  (209): Responsibility does not care about your dick. http://tfl.nu/xdqb
  Replies (10) Good night (3540) Bad night (1176)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk

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  (239): I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk http://tfl.nu/44fq
  Replies (9) Good night (1308) Bad night (3305)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

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  (919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if
  Replies (14) Good night (4307) Bad night (1228)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

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  (804): They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dkws
  Replies (4) Good night (3092) Bad night (802)
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  (925): View more from California

  We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor

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  (925): We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor http://tfl.nu/cj2b
  Replies (8) Good night (2444) Bad night (1390)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

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  (303): The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you http://tfl.nu/278m
  Replies (19) Good night (1374) Bad night (2562)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (2213) Bad night (923)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.

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  (647): The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/lyxj
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (1558)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH

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  (859): I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH http://tfl.nu/ebr6
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (572)
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  (323): View more from California

  There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream

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  (323): There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream http://tfl.nu/r44r
  Replies (9) Good night (568) Bad night (1222)
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  (530): View more from California

  Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish

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  (530): Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/hirn
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (488)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom

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  (781): Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom http://tfl.nu/px62
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (308)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."

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  (361): u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.." http://tfl.nu/49fj
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (232)

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