I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??