I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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