dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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