Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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