I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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