He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize