Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
