Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
