you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
