i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize