Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
