Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can I color on your dick again?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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