oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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