She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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