Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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