did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
