Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This baby is an asshole
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
