you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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