she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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