We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
