Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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