forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
