ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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