Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
