You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize