I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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