Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think my tv is drunk
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
