We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
