its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
