I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
